“Omigod. That is so retarded!”
Katy cringed. She hated that word. She knew it was meant as a joke but it wasn’t a joke to her because it made fun of people who had done nothing to deserve it and have no choice. She thought about how many times a day she heard that word. And that wasn’t the only word that made her cringe these days. If she heard the word “gay” one more time used to mean someone was stupid or weird she was going to scream. Ever since her fifth grade social studies teacher spent a lesson on language and how words shape how we see the world, she started seeing examples everywhere that proved him right. But now that she realized all this, what was she supposed to do?
The following week, Katy was in the cafeteria when she heard a friend at her table complain that the science teacher was making him stay after school to take a test. “And I even told him I would miss basketball practice. Mr. Swenson is such a retard.”
“Can you stop saying that word, Matt? It’s not fair.” Katy froze. She couldn’t believe she had just spoken. The words came out without thinking first. Everyone stopped and looked at her.
“What is your problem?” Matt asked. Katy felt her face get hot.
“Yeah, Katy, it’s just a joke. Lighten up,” someone else said as others nodded in agreement. “Everyone says it.”
The conversation moved forward, but Katy’s face stayed hot and she felt alone and ganged up on. She didn’t want other people to make fun of her, but she also felt like if she didn’t speak up about this sort of thing she would also feel bad. Even if using words like “retarded” and “gay” didn’t make things worse in the world, it surely wouldn’t make things better.
Katy felt weird by speaking up. And she felt weird by staying silent. Why did all this seem so clear to her social studies teacher and not to her? And most importantly, what should she do?
Katy cringed. She hated that word. She knew it was meant as a joke but it wasn’t a joke to her because it made fun of people who had done nothing to deserve it and have no choice. She thought about how many times a day she heard that word. And that wasn’t the only word that made her cringe these days. If she heard the word “gay” one more time used to mean someone was stupid or weird she was going to scream. Ever since her fifth grade social studies teacher spent a lesson on language and how words shape how we see the world, she started seeing examples everywhere that proved him right. But now that she realized all this, what was she supposed to do?
The following week, Katy was in the cafeteria when she heard a friend at her table complain that the science teacher was making him stay after school to take a test. “And I even told him I would miss basketball practice. Mr. Swenson is such a retard.”
“Can you stop saying that word, Matt? It’s not fair.” Katy froze. She couldn’t believe she had just spoken. The words came out without thinking first. Everyone stopped and looked at her.
“What is your problem?” Matt asked. Katy felt her face get hot.
“Yeah, Katy, it’s just a joke. Lighten up,” someone else said as others nodded in agreement. “Everyone says it.”
The conversation moved forward, but Katy’s face stayed hot and she felt alone and ganged up on. She didn’t want other people to make fun of her, but she also felt like if she didn’t speak up about this sort of thing she would also feel bad. Even if using words like “retarded” and “gay” didn’t make things worse in the world, it surely wouldn’t make things better.
Katy felt weird by speaking up. And she felt weird by staying silent. Why did all this seem so clear to her social studies teacher and not to her? And most importantly, what should she do?
- What’s the big deal here? Is Katy making too much out of nothing?
- What do you think the lesson Katy heard in social studies about language sounded like?
- What do think makes Katy uncomfortable about speaking up when she hears words that offend her?
- Have you ever felt uncomfortable when you’ve heard one of these words used?
- Have you ever used one of these words? Have you thought about how using it might hurt the feelings of others?
- Can you think of a time when you or someone you know corrected another person after he or she used a word that like “retarded” or “gay”? What happened? Is it something you or they might do again, do you think?
- How do you think Katy might be making a difference simply by asking that people not use language that might insult or hurt someone’s feelings?
- How do little actions to make things right affect bigger actions? Can a small act of good make a bigger difference? How?