Stephanie is in ninth grade and, until recently, felt pretty lucky. She had a good group of friends, was fairly popular, and was doing okay academically. The fall was hard because starting high school meant meeting a whole new group of people and teachers. Things were just beginning to get easier, and now she was in trouble.
Stephanie always thought of herself as a good friend but two weeks ago she found herself in a pretty big dilemma. One of her good friends, Rebecca, had confided to her that she liked a guy in the sophomore class. Stephanie had offered to go talk to him for her. When Stephanie told the boy that Rebecca was interested in him, he told Stephanie he might be interested but also asked if Stephanie wanted to hang out that Saturday at a local party. It didn’t seem like that big a deal when Stephanie said yes, but on Saturday, she let things get carried away and the two hooked up. She didn’t even know why she did it. It just seemed really cool that he was into her and, quite frankly, she just wasn’t thinking.
To make matters worse, Rebecca came to her on Monday and asked if Stephanie knew anything about what was going on with this guy. She had heard that he had gotten together with someone else and Rebecca was upset. Stephanie knew she should just tell Rebecca the truth, but she didn’t want to lose her friendship. She wanted to find a way where Rebecca wouldn’t find out what happened and Stephanie wouldn’t lose any friends. She had to think fast. She panicked, and told Rebecca she had heard a rumor that he had hooked up with a certain other girl in their class.
Now, everything felt like it was spinning out of control. The boy wasn’t talking, but after Rebecca confronted the accused girl she wanted Rebecca to set up a meeting so she could talk to Stephanie. This was a mess. What was Stephanie supposed to do now?
- What sort of person do you think Stephanie is?
- What do you think she should do at this point?
- Why do you think she made the choices she did?
- Have you ever been in the same place as any of the four people in this dilemma? What happened? What did it feel like?
- Have you or someone you know ever lied to a friend about someone you (or they might have been interested in?
- Do you think girls handle conflict differently than guys? How? Why?